I'm happy.
Posted by Confirmed_Lies at 10:34 PM | 2 Chapters
I'm happy.
Posted by Confirmed_Lies at 10:34 PM | 2 Chapters
I want to be your shadow. I want to be someone else, someone with a different past and hopeful future. I want to experience the touches you feel and understand how you recognize the different smells that fill the same air that I am not quite breathing. I hear your words, your beautiful words that mean beautiful things and I wish that I could interpret them with even an ounce of simple trust. You deserve to be trusted but it's hard and it's always going to be hard for me.
You make me happy, really truely happy. That scares the fuck out of me. Every time you put a smile on my face I remind myself that I am not allowed to be happy. I'm not supposed to be. So I wipe that smile off my face because it doesn't belong in a life filled of miserary. I was put on this earth to be taken advantage of and that's all I'm ever going to be good for. So take advantage of me, god damnit. Lie to me and beat my emotions raw and fuck me like you've never fucked before. I am worthless, so don't pretend that I am worthy of your love. You call me beautiful, but really, who are you trying to kid?
You are nice. You are perfect. You are amazing. As simple as that seems, it makes me wary.
I'm in love. I've let myself be stupid enough to fall for another boy. But he seems different, just like the rest of them "seemed" different.
Posted by Confirmed_Lies at 09:00 PM | Tell your story?
he's gone. forever gone. and i'm okay with that, happy even.
three years of depression and now the cause of my pain is gone. there is nothing left to be sad about and that scares me. it scares me that i now feel lost, lost without someone to make me want to cut, want to cry. it's all i've known for such a long time. sadness. i don't know how to be happy, how to smile, how to truly love. i shy away from this new boy who shows me he loves me so much. i want to show him my love, but i don't know how. i am so used to lies that it is hard to accept the truth.
i need to learn how to show my love to the best of my ability. because this new boy deserves it. he deserves more than i have to offer.
Posted by Confirmed_Lies at 10:07 PM | Tell your story?
Q: When will he stop lying? A: Never.
Posted by Confirmed_Lies at 10:19 PM | 6 Chapters
Update: Everything has been fine. Some days are still hard with the memories that will always be there to show their ugly heads, but I'm just keeping happy and hopeful. I've finally had a chance to settle down and start writing my verse novel. Maybe I'll be able to get a publishing contract...yay!
Posted by Confirmed_Lies at 10:01 PM | 3 Chapters
Devastated.
My own ideas,
feels like she
stole them.
All I should say
is lead the way.
Posted by Confirmed_Lies at 05:13 PM | Tell your story?
Haven't blogged lately. Must mean everything's been pretty decent, if you call this decent.
Posted by Confirmed_Lies at 10:50 PM | 1 Chapters